Zitat von Clu

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Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

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- Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.

- Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

- Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.

- Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

- Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.

- M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

- The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

- When Chuck Norris looks into a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

- The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

- Mr. T once defeated Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.

- Rosa Parks refused to get out of her seat because she was saving it for Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his freetime. And by “knit” I mean “kick”, and by “sweaters” I mean “babies”.

- The last digit of Pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

- Pinatas were made in an attempt to get Chuck Norris to stop kicking the people of Mexico. Sadly this backfired, as all it has resulted in is Chuck Norris now looking for candy after he kicks his victims.

- Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t play “hide-and-seek”. He plays “hide-and-pray-I-don’t-find-you”.

- Before Chuck Norris was born, the martial arts weapon with two pieces of wood connected by a chain were called NunBarrys. No one ever did find out what happened to Barry.

- Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.