Danke Winter. Ich hab das gleich mal bei JP's verteilt.

- Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the shit out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

- Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

- Some kids piss their name in snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

- Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from march 31st to april 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.

Bin für ein paar Tage außer Haus. Solange kein Chuck von mir.

Die Erderwärmung ist gestoppt. Chuck Norris macht schon seit dem Jahr 2000 keine Roundhouse Kicks mehr. Mangels der Reibungshitze wird es seitdem wieder kälter!

- Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris’ sperm escaped and got into the engine. We know this truck as Optimus Prime.

- Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.

Kann man das an Weihnachten posten?

Weihnachten war gestern, heute ist die Zeit der hartgesottenen PG-Generäle

- Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

- On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down “violence” as every one of his answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with violence.

- Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Irgendwie bin ich hier wohl gestern durcheinander gekommen...

- Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

- Chuck Norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month. They bleed for a week as a result.

- Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

- When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

- Chuck Norris doesn’t have hair on his testicles, because hair doesn’t grow on steel.

Chuck Norris Tränen können Krebs heilen.
Schade, dass er niemals weint.

- Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

- Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris’ PC will crash.

- Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.